TO TRAVEL OR NOT ACCORDING TO THE BUS DRIVER

Well, today is the 13^th, and, according to the female I spoke to two weeks ago, there should be some movement on the adaptations front. Are there any workmen here?  In fact have I been contacted? Er, NO.

Today I was told that I would have to ring Kier [the contractors] myself and when I explained that widening one door would not make me safe, I was told to go back to the original Occupational Therapist and begin the entire process again.  She was one of the able-bodied people that had no idea what being confined to a wheelchair was like, and the initial call was in May, so any takers on me still being confined by them come Xmas? It’s a sure bet, definitely the favourite!

I’ve received a letter stating that the OT will visit me in about three months, so I rang and told them the danger but I’m not expecting any joy, what don’t they understand about the word d-a-n-g-e-r-o-u-s?

How has it made me feel? Totally peed off that’s how I feel. In fact I feel I have started with depression again.

I know that I have said it before but this time louder - I HATE THE WOMEN IN SUPERMARKETS THAT LEAVE THEIR BRAINS AT HOME.  Especially the ones who see an old ‘friend’, [emphasis on the old part] then are completely oblivious to the queue behind me as I sit patiently waiting for them to move.  More often than not a member of staff has to ask them to move and let me through! I’m glad they ask because I’m afraid I get very sarcastic when faced with stupidity, and am quite likely to ask if their eyes have a day off.

Well that was today’s outing, otherwise I am bored out of my tiny little mind. Is this what my life has come to?

Eureka! I have had a day out! First the bus driver wouldn’t let me on, so I missed a tram, the film wasn’t worth all the hassle, and then I was ill and was sick all down the new trousers and the coat at the restaurant! What a great day! It h ad all started fine and as it coincided with Emma's day off she fixed my hair in the morning but then the bus driver [who looked thick] has misread the new guidelines regarding scooters and decided my wheelchair was a Scooter! I had to travel to the tram terminus under my own steam which meant that I just missed 1. I asked the conductor on the tram what that driver had been on about and that is when it became clear that the driver had been confused to say the least. 

After having a stupid driver, the “rom-com” billed film was not funny. It was otally disjointed and would have been better as a mini-series. So another two hours wasted.

Me being ill was, we think, taking my medication with the wine. It was awful, I lost all connection with reality [so what’s new?] luckily I had the good sense to get off the tram when I thought I was going to be sick again [which I wasn’t] and rang Alan and Emma in tears, she had the good sense to check which tram I was on and met me when I arrived back, I went straight to bed and slept until about 2 a.m. I couldn’t sleep after then, on the Thursday I also felt sick when I went to bed, hopefully tonight, which is the Friday I shall be OK. As I said I learn things all the time and this lesson was that my MS medication don’t mix with alcohol.

An email has been sent about the bus fiasco and I had my hair cut short yesterday so alls right with the world. [until I have to try for the toilet or when I go to bed that is]

PROBLEMS WHEN THE SPACE ISN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE WHEELCHAIR

Now a week has passed and I have had the visit from the NET (now called NES) team and it seemed to be more helpful than I thought! A Speech Therapist and an Occupational Therapist came and basically the conclusion they arrived at is the bungalow is no longer suitable for me, without adaptations that is.

Yesterday morning just verified the situation. I was coming from the shower backwards as usual and the wheelchair handles caught on the radiator, and now the radiator is hanging by one bracket.  A problem that would be eradicated by moving the entire stud wall about 30 cm.  But of course being disabled and female I know nothing. It has been suggested by the OT that came yesterday, that maybe we may have to move again, I would rather that this place was made more suitable for my needs. It has taken over 5hrs to get an answer at the repairs call centre, but it has naow been reported, but it will not be fixed until 4 days time.

Although I couldn’t stand having somebody always around, when Alan has his free days I am lonely.  Alright put my Counsellor hat on - why do I feel this way? When we were first moving I remember saying that I can take a book to the coffee bar [Morrisons] or even the local pub. Why don’t I do that? Because I would have to leave the door unlocked because I can’t reverse along the entire path. Why do I have to reverse? Because of waiting for the local housing department to pull their finger out or whatever part of their anatomy they are stopping the machinery with. I have thought up a new phrase that I think sums up my situation - Enforced Bureaucratic Loneliness (EBL to us).

I am having trouble sleeping at the moment, once I do go to sleep I do stay asleep but the bladder spasms are stopping me relaxing enough to sleep. I would be lost without my iPod which is on shuffle play so a random sequence of tunes are played each night. My taste ranges from the Beautiful South to the Black Eyed Peas, Celine Dion to Meatloaf, Kirsty McColl to Meatloaf.  You  may have seen a pattern here - Yes I am a Meatloaf fanatic. When I had a car a good friend of mine said I couldn't drive without Meatloaf on very loud! I’ve got news for you Deb - now I can’t sleep without Meatloaf on loud but through earplugs!  No matter what your mood is like there is a Meatloaf track to match, and the Beautiful South just sing about my life.

Today I have been to the Podiatrist (Foot Doctor in normal language - Normal??!!) She has cut my toenails but also managed to cut my toe, so I came back with a bandaged toe and instructions to leave the dressing on for two days and not to get it wet! Seriously don’t get it wet. (Does she live around here? Its not stopped raining for a week, or month or whatever, anyhow its WET weather.)

My MS nurse rang me today whilst at the clinic, to see how I felt the visit went with the NES Team. As I told him I felt listened too for a change and by someone who understood what my problems are. He did say that the team have regular meetings so all visits are discussed. (Have your meetings Liam but don’t tell me. I don’t want reminding that MS is the cause of all this)

Another gripe of mine that I’ll leave you with is the way women (usually elderly or mothers with babies) leave their trolleys at right angles to the shelves leaving me and my wheelchair (which I must name - suggestions please) having no option but to sit and wait for them to move. 

WHY IS HELP SO SLOW???

Today is another day spent unpacking [Yes STILL] as Alan tries make everywhere wheelchair accessible. The bathroom is now accessible WITHOUT the footrests [which has led to my foot becoming trapped I now have a slight graze on my toe and some bruising] I have found the hall stays in more or less 1 piece without the footrests on, that tells you how narrow the hall is.

The Neurological Enablement Team [NET] have just rung me and will ring to make an appointment for her and the MS Nurse to come and evaluate me. Maybe they can do something about my balance etc. I think that Alan will have to change around the Living Room so I am not in the wheelchair all day.

I have tried sitting on the sofa, I managed all right sitting down but when it came to me getting up again it was a different story.  No matter how I tried and with which hand, I couldn’t pull me up! So the lesson learnt from this was I can only be out of the wheelchair either in the bathroom or when Alan is in. You see I do learn a lesson virtually a day.

A letter from NET, they are coming to assess me next Wednesday, I wonder what they will suggest?  Probably nothing useful. Why don’t all these support teams let me wallow instead of being so upbeat about everything all the time?  What they either don’t or don’t want to understand is how much energy it takes to do anything at all, even get out of bed at times.

My mother is 88 today and has spent all lunchtime telling me how ill my cousin is, my cousin who is 67 next month and has had MS for the past 40 or so years.  I really do not want to contemplate that I might only last for another 8 years so SHUT UP MOTHER!  PLEEEASE

Today we have had a storm, and for the first time since we have lived here the dog was trembling.  I had an appointment with the foot specialist that had to be cancelled because of the weather, this was the second appointment because I was at the hospital for the time of the first.

I have spoken to the adaptations department of the housing department and was informed that an assessor to see about the work will be about another fortnight before he is here so I can’t lock the door when no-one is in, which means my insurance is invalid etc. - Great!!!

TANTRUMS, TEARS AND TEETH

Guess what? I fell again yesterday but we didn’t have to call the ambulance!  I was trying to put on my robe after I had been in the shower, and just went backwards, of course my hand was wet and so had no grip on the washbasin.  The other hand was in the sleeve so couldn’t grab anything, anyhow I managed to get up by using one of the grab rails and the bar on the wheelchair. I must admit that fall did upset me more than the others and I did cry. Thinking back the thing that upset me was the potential damage I could have done to myself, then Alan saying that he will have to put my robe on me in future did not help. I felt totally helpless then. 

I have been very tired since and am very achy today.  What I find fascinating is that I never get any bruises, not that I want some but I don’t seem to get any, and all the floors are concrete. [I think it’s the flab cushions me] 

A fingernail has a small crack, it’s good that I am going to have them done tomorrow. My hair. eyes and nails have always been so important to me that I have learnt how to put mascara on left handed, and have the hair straightened and manicure every two weeks. [I can’t do either with the right hand not working properly]

Oh what joy - my complete tooth has just broken off, never felt a thing even a crack etc, well why not, the rest of me is falling to pieces anyway. Luckily I’ve already got an appointment with the dentist on Tuesday [today is Friday]. How does the song go - always look on the bright side of life [difficult when I have so much going wrong]

I will be happier when the alterations are done, I am fed up with having to travel backwards [therefore blind aswell]. I have to leave the living room backwards and then much backwarding and forwarding to be able to approach the bedroom door straight on. The hall is just wide enough for me to touch both sides at the same time so not wide enough to turn the wheelchair round. To answer the door I have to travel backwards with the door to open it. [thank goodness for string, once unlatched and using string the door is easy to pull open, but the security spy hole is useless for me]

It’s now Tuesday, I collected my new reading glasses on Saturday which are a big improvement on the old ones and they are only a year old! 

Been to the dentist today, I have been given 4 appointments to have treatment on my mouth. The first of which is to remove the root of the broken tooth. [that is something to look forward to isn’t it?]

But the dental saga will be in the next update, so bye for now.