NEARLY MODERN

Where was I?


Oh yes!

I was at my Neurosurgeon appointment for the numerous scans and tests results.

The brain and neck scans were no problem unless you were claustrophobic, each needing the to be placed differently – the brain scan needed the head to be kept still and so I was wearing a helmet like American footballers wear for protection. I actually found it very comfortable just lying still for 20 minutes, in fact, I was just about dozing when suddenly it was over.

X-Rays we all know very well from personal experience or security systems. [Unfortunately I hadn't any fish-bones or coins to display on mine]

The nerve conduction tests seemed more intimidating but were, at worst, momentarily uncomfortable. Electrodes were placed at intervals on my arm and the nerves stimulated by very mild electric shocks similar to the sensation felt when you knock your elbow. [Funny Bone Funny Bone? Who thought up that? Or is it some form of sarcastic wit?]



The Neurosurgeon looked at all the information and performed numerous tests of his own, pointing out to me the various points of interest [a tour inside my own head [useful], but this tour didn't include local landmarks and a tour guide holding up a rolled-up umbrella, This was an educational trip, I was being taught the basic of how the brain worked]



After many more tests such as on reflexes, and if I could feel the pins he sharper in any specific areas [is he an acupuncturist in his spare time?] accompanied with lots of Mmms and Ahas he took me back to his office and made his proclamation – he thought the results indicated MS but it would need a consultation with the Neurologist, my case would be classed as urgent and he would expect me to be seen within a month,



So I left his office with more of an answer than previously, but a 3 week wait seemed an eternity to me. but patience is a virtue they say. Patient patients is that not what the NHS is built upon?



In the meantime I was attending the Uroloogy Clinic where discussions where under-way regarding my bladder problems when possibility of MS was mentioned the Urologist wasn't surprised and I was put forward to have an in-dwelling catheter fitted, possibility before 2010. Because of my lack of dexterity and other problems along with the new diagnosis of MS I would have to be in hospital for approximately 3 days and be fitted with Supra Pubic type catheter. A what? The dictionary says a suprapubic cystostomy is a surgically-created connection between the urinary bladder and the skin which is used to drain urine from the bladder in individuals with obstruction of normal urinary flow. In other words I will have to wear a bag and valve system, Which doesn't sound too enthralling but will greatly enhance my life, not being affected by gravity and no leakage. Not only that but I will be able write the snow as good as any man!

I was surprised at the time scale because I naively had though it would be carried out in at Day Surgery. Stoopid, I hadn't been allowed to drive for 6 weeks whent I had my appendix out so why had I thought this would be any different? As I said previously my life without challenge wouldn't be my life.